


Geordie Shore

by simplymaisie



Series: Geordie Shore Adventures [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A LOT OF DIALOGUE, F/F, F/M, Geordie Shore au, Have fun lads, I kept scott cause hes cute, Its not that good at all, M/M, always a girl!Liam, im not good at writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-28 08:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14445459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplymaisie/pseuds/simplymaisie
Summary: They get drunk a lot and they have sex with each other. Louis as Gary, Harry as Charlotte, Niall as Vicky, Perrie as Holly, Liam as Marnie, Zayn as Aaron, Sophia as Kyle, Eleanor as James and Scott as Scott because I love him. Have fun people.





	1. Origami Birds

**Author's Note:**

> Geordie Shore is a mix of live footage and filmed interviews where they comment on the live footage, all text in bold and italics are the interview sections.

The Girls Room 

Now it wasn't uncommon that the girls and the lads would spend a lot of time together, they lived together for god's sake. Not to mention the whole ‘one big incestual family’ they’ve got going on. From Niall and Zayn to the ever so dramatic end of Harry and Louis, I present to you the worlds most fucked up family. The origin story is a bit strange, but no matter what, they know it's going to be them for life, there's no avoiding it. No matter how many arguments between Niall and Liam, no matter how many punches were thrown at Louis in fits of drunken rage from Harry. They have a history together that Zayn, Liam, Niall, Harry, Louis, Eleanor, Perrie, Sophia and Scott just can't explain. Niall was the one to keep the girl's company, staying in their room and all, ‘one big slumber party’ he proposed with a sly smirk and a wink. Guess no amount of Irish charm could have got him Perrie, Sophia or Li, and Louis had all but pissed on Harry marking his territory all the way back on night one. That’s where he found himself now, in the midsts of the friendzone listening to Perrie whine about missing her bed partner.

“I can't actually believe Harry left last night.” she murmured through her locked jaw perfectly formed in an ‘o’ that was oh so common as she slathered her eyelashes in far too much mascara.

“He just had to though didn’t he” Niall's full attention now on Perrie rather than ogling himself in the mirror.

“Yeah, I'm just glad he's gonna go and finally know where his head's at, do you know what I mean?”

-

 **Perrie** : _Harry's gone to see Mitch and he's gonna try and resolve all the issues that they have. I just hope he comes back happy._

-

“What happened between you and Zayn last night?” Niall smirked, as his gaze met none other than Liam Payne. The golden skin princess, the natural beauty who no matter how innocent she acted had a true skill. Getting Zayn Malik wrapped tight around her little finger. The entire group tried to humour Zayn, give him the slight reassurance that he was the one who was in control, in reality, it was Li that could completely end his life in a single laugh.

“Oh, God, yeah.” Perrie laughed finally drawing her attention away from her eyebrows for the first time this week. Memories of Perrie running around Bijoux shouting ‘MORE GROWTH, MORE GROWTH’ at the top of her lungs, began to flood his head, Niall couldn't help but think she was obsessed.

“Um, well,” Li muttered, sheepishly trying to avoid any and all judging eyes that could possibly be watching her at this moment.

“It was absolutely fine.”

“You are forgiven.” they both spoke in turn, the only words shooting through Niall’s head were ‘bloody girls’ he just didn't understand. It was the ‘Yeah.’ he received in response that really set him off. That girl not only kissed another person when she was supposedly exclusive with Zayn but she also made him out to be a mug. It wasn't the first time Niall had sat and watched her glow, revelling in her smug face all because his best friend was a fucking idiot.

“Oh, fucking hell, blow me over with a feather.”

-

 **Niall** : _Zayn's forgiven, Liam. Shock! That's because he's a fanny, and she's a bewitching she-devil._

-

“I'm pleased that it's all sorted.” Of course, you're bloody pleased, you get someone to spoon at your beck and call because he hasn't got any bloody backbone! Oh, all the things he could say to her, but if Niall’s learnt one thing from 9 seasons in this house, it's just not worth the arguments. But believe you me, he was reaching the end of his tether with her.

“He just can't help it.”

“Because you have something that will win every argument with him, and has for all time.”

“A pussy?”

“Eugh” The very word forcing his face into one that could only be described as completely disgusted.

“Are you a fucking man? Fuck, I take it back, you don't have a vagina.” Niall was done with these girls, they were going to be the death of him. Where is his Harry.

-

 **Liam** : _Last night, me and Zayn sorted everything out. I didn't expect it to happen so quick, but he took responsibility for what he did, and so did I._

-

The Boys Room

The boys, well the boys and Sophia, were really feeling the consequences of the night before. No matter how many times they were allowed to run loose in this madhouse they still did not learn the effects of one too many vodka red bulls. Between groans and yawns they began to rise, not fast mind wanting nothing more than to sleep away their lives, but alas there was an elephant in the room that needed addressing, the absolute shit show that was Ziam.

“So, where, where do you stand with Liam now?” Scott spoke gesturing to the forlorn manchild that was a moping Zayn.

“What did you actually say?” Louis chimed in, obviously loving the fact that it wasn't him in the hot seat for once, it was his time to torture the house relationship like everyone had done to him for his time with Harry. Even the name still stung a bit, no matter how many people he had shagged, no matter how happy Harry was with Mitch, like don't get him wrong he was happy for Harry, he was! Sometimes he can't help but feel like there's an empty space in his life that can't be filled by any nameless lad or lass, but above all else he feels like Harry isn't right, he's usually the life of the house, his obnoxious cackle that emerged when he found something truly hilarious or the fact that he couldn’t go out without pissing himself. Something was missing and it was a painfully haunting feeling. He needs to grow some balls.

"She just said, "I'm sorry", but also I apologised 'cause, obviously, I invited the girl down here, so I say we're both in the wrong." Zayn tried to justify his conversation with Liam, he was so sick of people having an opinion, like he gets it ‘they’re a family’ but since when won’t his family just let him be happy? He knows that Liam isn't the purest, and he knows that he's so fucking whipped, but until they are in his position and they try and fight her off, they’ll know that it's useless. She is it for him.

-

 **Sophia** : _Zayn's telling me that he's okay with Liam now, after one little chat, after all that shit I put up with in Paris. What a fucking mug._

-

“She used Sophia to neck on with to get back at you” Louis said directing a very smug look straight at Soph, God she hated that manipulative prick.

“Soph, if you know not to do it again, that'd be sound like”

Sophia was fucking fuming, how dare he sit there and say that he's completely fine with Liam now after everything that she had put up with. One kiss and everyone kicks off at her, but Liam bats her eyelashes and gives him a hug an everything’s okay? She had to turn away from him to stop herself from screaming. She lived with a bunch of fucking idiots. Someone needs a drink.

-

 **Zayn** : _I do like Liam, but there's so much chaos that comes with that, I don't know if I can cope with it, but never say never._

-

Niall was having a blissful morning, he had shaken off the horror that was morning Liam after she had run downstairs to ensure no one was eating her Coco Pops. He had spent a solid 20 minutes trying to convince Perrie that maybe kissing Sophia on nights out isn't the best choice and maybe she should try and be more classy and less slutty since her self proclaimed ‘s-assy’ phase. Niall had even made himself what could have been the best brew of his life. Oh how his morning came to a resounding shit heap with one simple shout from Eleanor.

“Phone!”

-

 **Scott** : _The phone's going off and it's blatantly gonna be Anna, it'll be the first time anyone's heard from her since before Paris. I wouldn't like to be Niall's ear right now 'cause I bet it's getting chewed clean off._

-

The walk of shame to the phone box felt like an eternity, he was bricking it.

“Niall I've had some complaints from Paris about the Tash on Tours job you did.”

“What? That's preposterous!”

-

 **Niall** : _Shit! Someone's grassed us to Anna about being pissed in Paris. I bet it was Lou, the brown-nosing bell end._

-

“Very, very disappointed in you, Niall”

“Ah, sorry, Anna.”

“You need to prove to us that you’re taking your role seriously, my boy.”

“Okay, hit us.”

“Well I've been asked to do a Japanese themed event”

“Oh Okay.” “I need two hundred origami birds making.”

“Oh, God.”

“But seen as though you’ve let us down, I want you to oversee it, ok?”

-

 **Niall** : _It may be my fault we're doing this, but I'm getting everyone involved, because misery loves company._

-

All eyes were on Niall once the phone was back on the hook, the first to break the silence was Eleanor.

“What's the craic?”

“Well, I'm in trouble.”

“You are?”

“Yeah.” The amount of restraint it took him to not say ‘Yes you idiot I’ve just said that!’ to her was astonishing, Eleanor is another one of those in the house who just isn’t worth the drama hed get, dramatic bitch.

“Paris?”

“Is that the boss?” Zayn said, fucking hell Niall lived with a bunch of idiots.

“She's got a job on for tonight.She's got a Japanese event tomorrow, and she needs 200 origami birds made by then.” He tried to explain, finally getting a word in edgeways.

-

 **Liam** : _What the fuck is origami? I can barely pronounce it, never mind do it._

-

“Are you fucking kidding?”

“No.”

-

 **Scott** : _This is pure liberty, this like. Don't get me wrong, I love folding birds, but not of the paper variety._

-

“Gotta make roughly 20, 25 each.” He explained bringing a box of paper and instructions from the conveniently parked car outside, he's too old for this shit.

“I can't read that.” Liam moaned, clutching a Calippo ice lolly in one hand and an instruction sheet at arms length as though reading will give her some sort of STI. Then again, she’s used to dealing with those.

“Fold in half and open, then fold in half the other way.”

-

 **Niall** : _This is a little bit more difficult than I initially anticipated, and I know that these brain-dead imbeciles are not gonna be able to do this._

-

Anna couldn't fault them for trying, for a solid eight minutes all that could be heard was aggravated groans of “Oh, man!”, “The top three corners?”,”Fuck this.” and the complete surrender from Liam, what a shock the princess got a papercut.

-

 **Zayn** : _There's fucking not a chance in hell I'll be able to do this. Niall getting too drunk in Paris, means that we've gotta make 200 origami birds to save his job. Fuck off!_

-

“Balls!”

They were all miserable, Zayn had elected himself the paper giver-outer, Li couldn’t be bothered with listening so she went back to lying sprawled out on the sofa , Sophia was trying to make paper aeroplanes out of scraps of scrunched up paper throwing them at Liam’s head, Lou was trying to concentrate on the task at hand but his mind kept flashing back to the look on Harry’s face when he left to sort out the whole Mitch situation and Perrie had been hiding upstairs since the beloved phone rang. The only exception being Scotty who was living his best life rocking out paper bird after paper bird, who knew he was actually good at something?

-

 **Eleanor** : _We're absolutely useless at making these paper birds.What's next? Fucking brain surgery._

-

“I'm not doing it.”

“Li you’re doing it?” even Zayn was starting to get pissed off with her at this point.

“I refuse.” Niall wasn't having any of it, there was absolutely no way she was going to fuck this up for him just because she thought she ran the house, dream on girl.

“Fucking get back to making paper seagulls, you lazy cow!”

-

 **Liam** : _Paper birds are fucking shit. I don't wanna be sat doing this for anyone, never mind Niall. He's a shit boss anyways._

-

“You gotta have patience” Scott said showing the group the fourth bird he had made, beaming with pride like a puppy that had learnt to piss outside.

“ Well, I don't have any.”

“Well, get some, kid, Look, Liam, I'll show you how to do it.”

“He's done it!”

“Yeah, if you just read the fucking bit of paper, it's fucking easy. And I can't even read.”

Sophia, after throwing her last paper aeroplane and successfully getting the point caught in Eleanor's hair, decided to confront the subject that everyone was debating. Harry. It was impossible to deny that the groups dynamic was off, Perrie and Niall were missing their best friend, Lou felt like he was treading on eggshells and well, Liam and Eleanor are just nosy girls who thrive off of drama.

“I hope Harry's okay, like.”

“No matter what's happened, I think it'd be so nice for him to finally have some sort of resolution. he was completely in limbo before, he didn't know where he stood.” Niall explained, as though he had rehearsed an answer to give anyone who asked him about Harry. He knew it wasn't any of his business, but at the end of the day Harry is like his younger brother and seeing him cry over boys is never something he’d ever want to see. He just wanted him to be okay again.

-

 **Louis** : _I honestly don't know if Harry's gonna sort things out with his boyfriend or split up with him. We're hoping Harry'll be back and we'll find out exactly what's going on between him and Mitch._

-

The morale was low and everybody was bored. Niall had paper cuts all over his hands, Scott had even given up at this point. They all stopped however as they heard the infamous squeak of a car pulling up outside the house, knowing it could only be one person.

“Hi, everyone!” said Harry as he walked into the house, dressed in only a thigh-length white t-shirt and some knee-high boots.

“Oh, my God! Hi, babe.” Niall said first, the sheer shock of him being back so quickly, clear in his voice.

“How are yous?” He asked with no indication that he was sad at all.

-

 **Harry** : _I'm so excited to get back into the house, because I know the girls are gonna be so supportive, and I need all of that bunch around us to take me mind off everything._

-

“Fucking hell, how are you?” Niall was so happy, if Harry was happy it could only mean one thing, he and Mitch were clearly okay. That boy could go back to spooning the Mitch head pillow Perrie had got him for Christmas. It was all back to normal. It was a relief to have his boy back where he was meant to be, getting drunk and dancing like no one could see. Harry was home.

“We're finished.”

Someone go and burn that pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part 1 as the dialogue is only 6 minutes of a 50 minute episode, let me know if you want more!


	2. Vodka Chasers and    Red Bull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry was back and he's newly single, this could get messy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two of the Geordie Shore series, Hope you enjoy!

Not one of them was a good actor. The shock was present on every single face, thank god they drunk for a living rather than poker, lady gaga would be absolutely ashamed of their ability to hide their feelings. Harry knew from the off that it was going to blindside the group, Mitch had been in his life for over a year and now it was over, he felt lost.

“What?” “You're joking!” Scott and Zayn spoke in unison all attention diverted from the paper pissing birds.

-

 **Scott** : _Harry's just walked back in and he's telling us all that he's broke up with Mitch. This is big, big news._

-

“Fucking hell!” Now Niall wasn't naive, he couldn't pretend that there wasn't doubt in his mind that Harry and mitch would split if anything it was dumb hope to try and keep them together. At the end of the day, he knows that Harry will do what he needs to do, but every sniffle he could hear from Harry's bed in the dead of night had his heart breaking. Maybe no amount of wishing could make Harry and mitch right for each other.

-

 **Harry** : _I'm single, and I'm scared. I know that it's gonna be hard and I'm gonna have good days and I'm gonna have really, really bad_ days, _because I truly feel in my heart of hearts that this is over now._

-

Perrie had been hiding all day from the bunch of moaning idiots folding birds, that was until she heard the door slam and the unmistaken voice of her best friend. Running down the stairs and into Harry's arms was something she had been playing over and over in her head since he left earlier in the week, but in no scenario did she picture harry's head bowed and his nervous habit of biting his nails on show. Something was definitely wrong.

“How are you?” She tried, nervous to hear his response.

“Me and Mitch are finished.” The way he said it was so stoic, absolutely zero emotion if anything he sounded so done with the situation. It caused an ache in Perrie’s heart that no amount of Gaviscon tablets could fix.

-

 **Perrie** : _Harry and Mitch are finished. I can't actually believe it. I thought he would have fought for him._

-

"Are you okay?" Perrie was never good with this stuff, she was good at wet t-shirt contests and blowjobs not consoling her friends, the only thing she could think of was dropping to her knees, doing what she knew made boys happy. Then again she had an inkling that her very unbrown hair colour and lack of tattoos would really be a deal breaker to her strategy.

“Well, I'll be all right now I'm in here again.” Harry spoke anxiously tearing at the corners of a screwed up paper bird lifeless on the sofa.

“So, what happened?”Niall needed answers, more specifically he needed to know whether or not he needed to piss in Mitch’s water to poison his stupid houseplant collection, make him pay for any hurt he may have caused harry. Niall seemingly zoned out for a while because when he came back to reality Harry was no longer stood in front of him, instead, he had moved to sit in between Liam's legs, toying with the line of birds Scott had made.

“I text him when I got out, saying, "I think we need to talk", and he just text back saying "I'll save you the bother "and I'll cut the bullshit, we're over.” As Harry explained all eyes were on him, except for Niall who was trying to reach for the one-litre bottle of water next to the arm of the chair.

-

 **Harry** : _It's so upsetting the fact that I went out of my way to leave the house and try and speak to him, but he just seemed like he couldn't be bothered at all._

-

“Fucking horrible” Scott whispered into Harry's ear giving him a slightly awkward side hug. Harry couldn't help but smile to himself, nothing says comfort like unusual yoga position hugs from a strictly heterosexual male. Louis was in shock, Harry hadn't been single since they did their Europe Tour almost 2 years ago, the time where Harry had sat him on the beach and told Louis that he loved him through fits of tears. It was dangerous, everyone knew that Harry was Louis’ kryptonite, if Harry got too pissed it was Louis who would tuck him in, it was Harry who had kicked off at him for years about pulling people, It was Harry who threw a lamp at him in a fit of drunken rage. It was Harry that had done so much in the past few years just to fuck with him, but at the end of the day, it was Harry who was sat there upset and yet again was breaking his heart. He could never bare to see the younger boy cry even if it was he who had been the reason, and the same could still be said now.

“Haz, you alright?” he whispered only to be met with a flippant nod.

“You Sure?”

“Mm-hmm.”

-

 **Louis** : _The next few days are gonna be tough for Harry but, no matter what happens, I'll be here for him and so will his Geordie Shore family._

-

Harry was desperate to get out of this house, he was in desperate need of some wine and the thought of staying in a circle surrounded by paper was actually volatile.

“So, we're going out tonight?”

“We only get to go out when these are done.”

“Are you fucking kidding?”

-

 **Harry** : _For fuck's sake, I wanna leave the misery behind and walk back into the party house, but what I've walked into is a load of_ mizzos _folding bits of paper._

-

“What the fuck? Oh, what? I hate this.” Just like the rest of them, Harry was struggling, no matter how hard he tried the stupid origami sheet was telling him to make weird boats, not even remotely close to the regal swans that boss man Anna wanted. Safe to say he wanted out.

“It's okay everyone does.It's shit...Oh, fuck it, let's all just go out.” Niall had given up, you can lead a bunch of brain dead horses to water, but you can’t make them drink.

-

 **Niall** : _Harry's single and we need to cheer him up, so that means one thing, fucking off these birds and everyone going out. That's it, I'm sacked!_

-

 **Harry** : _I'm not having anyone staying the night, it's my first night as single Harry, and I want everyone around us so that I don't cry._

-

The Girls Room

It was a ritual at this point, Harry, Ni, Perrie and Liam would all get ready together for a night out, pre-drinks flowing in tea stained mugs and makeup scattered over every available service. It was very rare that the room was clean, and even more rare that the room ever smelt of anything other than vomit and vodka. Harry had managed to get his hair done with minimal stress, his curls softly casting down the side of his face tumbling onto his pale shoulders. In this light his tattoos were visible under his shirt, he couldn't help but think singleness looked good on him.

“Shit. Oh God, I’m getting sad again” It was hitting harry hard, at first he was fine laughing along as Perrie poked herself in the eye with a mascara brush, then all of a sudden all he could think about was the empty wardrobe in his and mitch's bedroom that had been cleared overnight.

“Don't get sad, you've gotta think you don't wanna be with him, anyway.” Perrie pushed trying to ignore the pain that came with harry's sadness. It was like watching a puppy getting kicked.

-

 **Harry** : _I feel sad that I put so much effort into a relationship that lasted so long, for it just to end like this. Why did I waste all of that time, all of that effort and all of_ them _emotions?_

-

Tears were threatening to fall at this point, in an attempt to save his mascara he tipped his head back “Oh God I'm just so upset now” he choked out every syllable sounding hoarse and broken.

“You're back in here with us, we're your friends we're gonna look after you.”

”Okay.”

“You don't need to be sad.”

-

 **Perrie** : _I feel so sorry for Harry, I know he's so upset and I know he's hurting, but I'm his best friend and I know that he can be strong._

-

“Do you know the best way to get over someone?” Perrie smirked, earning a smile from the boy. That's more like it.

“Don't even say it's to get under another person, I feel sick.” with that laughter filled the room, and for the first time this week Harry felt safe. He was home.

-

The Kitchen 

Alike the getting ready ritual, having everyone around the breakfast bar before a night out, a drink in each hand was a necessity. Harry was drinking vodka from the bottle, Niall was on his fifth sourz and lemonade and Zayn was drinking Gin with a splash of lime- pretentious bastard. Everyone chanting drinking songs and cheers-ing every new possible drink, toasts to Harry's new found relationship status on Facebook. They had a million and one things to celebrate, and there wasn't going to be a man or woman in the toon who wouldn't hear about it tonight.

“Ready guys? - Yes, all right, come on.”

“Let's fucking do this!”

-

 **Harry** : _Harry in a relationship was average at best, but single Harry, he is where the party's at! There's only one way to deal with this. Let's. Get. Mortal._

-

 **Perrie** : _We're all in Bijoux and we're all ready to have a mint night!_

-

 **Harry** : _I wanna get Mortal, I wanna get fucked up. Everyone knows the main thing that you need when you've broken up with someone. Shots! This is gonna be a messy night._

-

The drinks on the table were rippling with the bass of the weeks top 40, they had been out for approximately 30 minutes but they were all absolutely paraletic. Everything seemed to go by in a blur, louis was absolutely buzzing, the fray were playing and he was singing his little heart out hanging off of scotts arm. Niall was oblivious to the world drunk dancing with his pink gin concoction sloshed all up his face. Harry, Perrie and Scott were all holding hands as the chorus of IDGAF pumped through the speakers. Harry really needed this, he was sick of feeling sorry for himself, he was living a great life surrounded by amazing friends, he was done having his life determined by a boy who couldn't give two shits about him. He didn't give a fuck, this distraction was all he needed. Four more bottles of liquor gifted to the table later, the group were all getting a bit handsy with each other. Harry had spent the past two minutes slapping Perrie’s ass, as she twerked to rihanna, whilst Niall watched desperately trying to control the rush of blood heading south. Eleanor was flexing, trying her hardest to impress the barmaid enough to skimp a free gin and tonic. What really shocked Zayn however, was how close Louis and Harry were getting, they seemed to be completely free with each other, laughing over jokes that no one else understood. Zayn had been watching the show long before he was accepted into the family, It was clear to everyone that Louis and Harry had a history unlike anyone else in the house, it was truly like he was sat back at home watching the pair of them from two years prior. Well except harrys hair is nicer and louis no longer wore striped shirts and suspenders. Strange.

The burn that came after, licking salt off of the back of your hand, and shotting tequila was something that not one of those fools could handle, no matter how much lime they squeezed into their mouths. Every face was contorted in pain, and yet they did it every single time they left the house, will they ever learn? It wasn't long until louis was at his peak drunkness, the level of drunk that led him to bring out his signature moves. It was the ‘pat the dog and screw the lightbulb’ move that set harry off. A true shriek of laughter burst from his throat, his hands shooting up to cover his mouth in embarrassment. Nobody could remember a time that harry had last laughed like that, his unfiltered laugh of pure joy. It was sickening how mushy it made louis feel, like he had won gold in the 100 meters sprint.

-

Zayn and Niall were the best of friends, they had gone through their casual fling and now they were inseparable, Niall could sense a change in Zayn throughout the night, the third time he had caught Zayn staring longingly at Liam he knew it was time to sit him down and discuss what was going on.

“With Liam I don't know whether I'm coming or going… we’re both trying to play each other.” he shouted over the music catching a glimpse of Harry and Liam doing the macarena over the other side of the VIP lounge. She looked so happy, so free.

“I know! And you know you never get anywhere when you play games, babe.”

-

 **Zayn** : _I don't know what it is about Liam, no matter how much we argue or how much we fight, she always pulls us back, and I hate that she can do that to us._

-

 **Niall** : _Fighting is their fucking foreplay. Weirdos._

-

Liam and Harry had never really been close, it was usually just Harry and Perrie and Zayn and Liam. Tonight however, they were closer than ever, sharing drinks and laughing at nothing. It was like they had always been the best of friends, a huge weight being lifted off both of their shoulders. A beautiful feeling like no other.

-

 **Liam** : _Harry seems so much happier now. He's drinking a bottle of wine with a straw. I love single Harry already._

-

 **Harry** : _Liam's telling us that I already seem a lot happier, maybe I'm better at being single than what I thought!_

-

Louis: I haven't seen Harry have this much fun in ages. He'll be back to pissing himself, in no time

-

Louis had been trying to keep Harry happy all night, whether it was dancing or headbutting a light. The only issue being he could feel everybody's eyes on him, boaring into the back of his head like they were ready to pounce on him at any moment. Each and every one of them was quick to preach that ‘we’re all a family’ but god forbid them let him get remotely close to Harry, they all just jump to conclusions. It's so disheartening.

Harry felt a tap on his arm so light and gentle he had almost missed it. He turned his head to meet the questioning eyes of louis, of course it was louis, who else could it have been. He gestured to the booth, silently asking him to sit.

“I just want to make sure that you have a good time in the next few weeks. The best place to be is in this house, to take your mind off it and have a good time. I’ll be there for ya”

-

 **Harry** : _It's nice that_ me _and Louis are getting close again and that we're actually friends, and we can sit together, we can have a laugh or we can talk to each other._

-

“I just want to have a laugh with ya, and get back to how we used to be.”

“Yeah but… without the sex though”

“Without the sex” Louis couldn't help but smirk at that, hearing him say no sex seemed so simple, but if he had learnt anything in three years it was sex was never off the table for them.

“Yeah” he whispered his eyes flicking down to the soft curve of louis’ lips, as though in a trance. Finally feeling the weight of the alcohol on his brain.

“Yeah”

-

 **Louis** : _After everything that happened in Paris, and Harry splitting up with Mitch, I'm starting to think, shit, there could still be something there between_ wer _._

-

“No sex, No farting, No pissing”

“No sex, No kissin. We’re allowed to cuddle” Harry uttered moving ever so slightly closer to louis inhaling that scent. Louis.

“Yeah! We can't not cuddle”

-

 **Harry** : _I'll always be close to Louis, and he is so special to us, and I'm worried that it's gonna be difficult for us to stay away._

-

The pair finished their little mothers meeting with a hug. A hug that felt like a truce, as though every argument and every tear and every name that has been thrown between them was all resolved. Now if they loved a good cliche, Harry would say it was like coming home, but he's pretty sure home didn't smell like vodka chasers and red bull. It felt normal.

-

 **Eleanor** : _Everyone's mortal, it's time to go home, it's been the best night ever._

-

 **Harry** : _We all get back to the house and we're absolutely mortal._

-

The group split up into two taxis, Scott, Perrie, Louis and Harry in one and Eleanor, Niall, Liam, Zayn and Sophia in another. With no kick offs or vomit, it could go down in history. The perfect night out. Everybody was drunk at this point, more some than others- this was discovered when the massive yoga ball came out and Scott and Zayn lost their shit, all the while Eleanor was throwing around glass bottles like a fully trained mixologist. Noise filled the house from corner to corner, from the laughs of drunken Harry and Perrie play fighting, to the sound of Zayn falling arse over tit with help from Scott, successfully crushing the paper birds.

-

“Ow, watch the birds, please, no!” Niall shrieked like he was watching his own children getting squashed.

-

 **Harry** : _Me first single night out has went amazing._

-

Harry wandered upstairs, everything seemed so cartoonish. The walls moved in and out and she couldn't help but uncontrollably giggle as he slid down the banister. It wasn't long before he regretted that exact decision. One minute he was holding on for dear life and the next he was facing the ceiling choking on air. The bloody idiot had winded himself.

“Oh, God!” Louis was absolutely howling, it was like he had watched the fall in slow motion, the exact moment that harry had realised what was happening mid fall kept replaying in his head. It wasn't long until he was on the floor too, except he couldn't breathe for an entirely different reason.

“Everybody!” Zayn gave as warning before he kicked the yoga ball straight over the kitchen table and straight at Scotty's head, narrowly missing the flat screen that was perched on the wall. It was like a playground for overgrown kids. Oh how he loved this house.

-

Once the adrenaline of the alcohol began to subside the house split off into little groups. Harry and Louis seemed to just gravitate towards each other. It's like an undeniable force brings them right back next to each other no matter the circumstance. That's how they'd say it weeks down the line when they are forced to explain why they were currently lying on the sofa, harry's head perched on louis chest, their hands entwined placed comfortably between harry's thighs.

-

 **Niall** : _Harry's first night back at the house and he's already all over Louis like a cheap suit. He looks like such a smitten kitten and instantly I smell trouble._

-

Louis had a slight obsession with Harry's curls, from the day he first met him to now he couldn't help but run his fingers through his baby curls that collected round the sides of his face or at the base of his neck. Harry was like putty at this point, it's actually disturbing how feline like he gets when louis is messing with his hair. Any other day, any other moment he would sit and savour this feeling, the proximity between them. But Harry wanted pizza, and he wanted pizza bad. He couldn't even form words, only sounds and little pouts as he tried to get food. Niall was his knight in shining armour for this dire situation, quickly sourcing some margherita thin crust for his mess of a friend, trying his hardest to entice him away from louis. To no avail.

-

 **Harry** : _Me and Louis have not been close for a year and a half, and now, all of a sudden, it's like nothing's even changed. It's like it's always been like this. What the fuck?_

-

“Turn this way” he whispered, as though any loud noises would burst this bubble he and harry had found themselves in.

"No."

-

 **Louis** : _Harry's just became single, I thought we'd have a laugh together, do some fun stuff together, and eventually start flirting. I did not think it'd be happening six hours after he became single._

_-_

“Come upstairs” harry whispered gesturing with a slight nod.

“Where?”

“No, come upstairs”

“Where though”

“To my room” Louis was caught off guard, Harry hadn't been like this in years, hadn't been this gentle yet suggestive. It almost felt like taking advantage, like he wasn't louis’ for the taking.

-

 **Harry** : _I think I'm getting a bit carried away, I need to rein myself in. What the fuck is going on?_

-

“No Haz” he tried to put his foot down, hoping the nickname would reside deep with harry to try and wake him up form this unmarked territory, of course in his drunk state harry was having absolutely none of it.

“For five minutes”

“I'll meet you there in five minutes”

-

 **Zayn** : _Harry and Louis are all over each other, this is only gonna go one way tonight._

-

“Brush me teeth and go to fuckin bed” Louis was exhausted, he couldnt push harry away from him, it was like a treat he knew he didn't deserve. So he left harry upstairs, waiting for him to come up. Well. That's what he thought was going to happen.

-

 **Louis** : _I feel that I need to remove myself from the situation, go for a piss, brush my teeth but, no, here comes Harry._

-

Harry waited upstairs patiently for louis, all he wanted was a cuddle. He didn't understand why everyone was watching him and louis, as though they are doing something completely wrong. He and Louis were friends, they just liked to kiss and fight and fuck. It was with this reasoning that he found himself back downstairs, following louis to the bathroom like a lost puppy.

“I am brushing my teeth.”

“I brushing teeth” Harry could barely string a sentence together at this point.

“You're not brushing”

“Yes, I am!”

-

 **Harry** : _I feel like, now I'm single, all I'll do is just follow Louis everywhere, but I'm gonna pretend I'm brushing my teeth. He'll never know._

-

They stood in the bathroom just watching each other brushing their teeth, to an onlooker it must had looked so strange, but the them it was so, well, them. A bit weird and intimate but funny and friendly, it just summed them up. Their next move however, was nothing plain of pure disgusting.

“No.”

“Go on, you brush mine, I'll brush yours.” He said his toothbrush outstretched to harry's mouth.

-

 **Harry** : _Me and Louis are brushing each other's teeth. This is so romantic._

-

“Oh.” the younger whispered, his face stained with distress. His eyebrows knitted together and his eyes doing that crinkly thing that only appears when he's confused. He looked positively adorable, like a kitten that can't figure out where the light is coming from. Except this little kitten had toothpaste painting his normally bitten lips and his eyes were staring at louis with clouded sadness.

“What?” Louis questioned, soon catching on to the fact that he wanted to wipe the toothpaste from his face. Now sober louis lived to regret his next decision as it stained his favourite top, but anyway, he lifted the bottom of his shirt up to harry's mouth, in that moment he didn't care as long as harry was content.

Things moved so fast from that point. Harry couldn't keep his eyes from louis lips, he just wants louis. So he takes him. Harry tangles his fingers with louis and brings them down past his waist, leaving louis hand to rest on his arse. Then he brings his hands up to louis’ jaw, his fingers slipping behind his head, bringing him ever so slightly closer. He opens his lips slightly and catches louis bottom lip between them. Louis decides to wake up at that point, slipping his tongue into harry's mouth pulling away every so often with the boys bottom lip between his teeth. Louis stubble feels slightly scratchy against harry's skin, stubble louis didn't have all those years ago. It's so different but so similar all at the same time, it's like they're drunk. Ironic.

-

 **Harry** : _Oh, my God! Oh. My. God._

-

 **Louis** : _I'm actually kissing Harry. I literally feel like I've gone back in time. I kinda like it._

-

 **Harry** : _Me and Louis have got so much history and, now that I'm single, I can't help but just look at him and just want to go there, because it's familiar, and I really like it._

-

He kisses Harry again, and then kisses his cheek. When they pull apart they just stare at each other, bright glassy eyes and swollen lips.

-

“I'm going to bed now.” Perrie announces to the group, encouraging Harry to follow on with her. He does in fact follow without argument, but instead of falling into his own bed, he makes a b-line straight for the boys room. Harry couldn't think straight, that was clear, but something felt so right falling into Louis’ bed, inhaling the scent of cigarettes and Diesel aftershave. Louis.

Niall was having none of it.

-

 **Niall** : _I'm not gonna stand in the way of Harry and Louis, but jumping into his bed on his first night back, howay, man,haz, is this not a bit too soon?_

-

“No, no, no.”

“You won't?”

“No.”

“You won't cry?”

“No, I'm not.”

“Not gonna whinge?”

“I won't, no.”

“You're gonna think this is an excellent idea in the morning?”

“Excellent.”

“Crack on.” Niall left hastily, not before leaving a kiss on harry’s cheek and a high five for good luck.

-

 **Harry** : _I don't need saving, Niall. I'm single, just let us enjoy it, I'm having fun._

-

Louis finally makes his way upstairs, and sees a sight he isnt used to. Harry, soundly tucked in, his curls cast upon his pillow in a perfect crown. Ever so carefully he climbs on top of the younger boy, lying sprawled out on top of him as he began to recount the night. Its harry who becomes bored with the small talk first, lifting his head from the bed to catch louis’ lips again, savouring the taste of cherry liquor and louis on his tongue.

-

 **Louis** : _Me and Harry, back in bed, necking on, never seen that coming._

-

 **Harry** : _I'm enjoying being in Louis's bed, and it just feels so natural. It feels like I've never been away from him._

_-_

Louis was never going to take advantage of Harry on the day that he had become single, it doesn't matter if harry was willing. Louis didn't feel right about it. Before long he stood up, slipped out of his jeans and lifted his toothpaste stained shirt over his head. His fringe fell flat above his eyes but Harry could still see the cheeky glint that was just so him. He slid into bed beside Harry, taking his place as big spoon, because he knew it made harry feel safe. With a final featherlight kiss to Harry's shoulder right on top of his freckles, he pulled the covers over their heads and they fell asleep.

_Home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want the next part, Bye!


	3. Paper Cuts and Tin Foil Hats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna's back for the birds, Louis has given up on birds and Zayn gets jealous. They're a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Part 3!

Early mornings for Harry often meant waking up with a mouth full of Perrie's hair, a bad case of dry mouth and his head spinning. Today was different, Harry woke peaceful, cuddled into the warmth of Louis. It had been hours and yet their legs were still entwined and their fingers were interlocked. He couldn't help but close his eyes tight hoping he could make this moment last that little bit longer, not quite ready to let go of the other.

-

The Girls Room

“Good morning, Missus.” Niall smiled eagerly waving Perrie over to his bed, an offer she couldn't help but accept, excitedly bouncing over to climb under the boy's duvet.

-  
**Perrie** : _So I've woken up, and I'm by myself, and I'm thinking "Where the hell could Harry be?" Oh, yeah, I know, in bed with Louis!_

-

“He promised us he was still gonna think it was a good idea today.”  
“He will not think that's a good idea today.” Liam laughed from the other side of the room, between animalistic stretch groans and yawns.

-  
**Liam** : _What the fuck? I'm actually shocked, I didn't think he would dive in this quick._

-

The Boys Room

  
“Fucking hell! How many days since Harry slept in the room?” Scott smirked, remanence of sleep clear in his voice.

-

 **Harry** : _Oh, no! What am I doing here?_

-

“This is the worst day of me life.” Harrys blushing at this point quickly pulling the duvet over his head in a ploy to hide from the world. The events of the night before flashing through his mind in a blur. This time yesterday he had a boyfriend, if anyone would ask he’d say he hated Louis, he’d call him a skinny prick and roll his eyes. But now he can feel heat radiating off the other, how did this happen?

“Cheers for making us feel special, Haz.” Louis laughed rubbing his hands up and down Harry's side. He doesn't know how this happened, He’s used to waking up with some random face beside him, he's used to staring at the ceiling searching his mind for the name to said random face before he could kick them out without breakfast.  
“Oh, Haz.” Scott laughed mindlessly playing with his quiff.  
“This is bad.”

-  
**Louis** : _Harry looks devastated. Come on, babe, you knew it was gonna fucking happen._

-

“Were yous banging last night?” Asked Zayn turning on his side.  
“No!” They protested in unison, their heads snapping towards Zayn maybe too quickly.

-

 **Harry** : _Nothing bad happened, we didn't have sex or anything, we just slept together naked, like twins in a womb._

-  
Louis lifted his arm from its limp position and pulled Harry ever so slightly closer to his body, part of him hoping that they could merge into one. Harry finally relaxed into Louis, his head going back to rest on the other boy's chest.“See? That's not too bad, is it?”

“What's going on there like?”

“Kids, marriage, you know” Louis laughed placing a kiss against Harry’s temple.

-  
**Harry** : _I am dreading seeing the girls. This is like Judgement Day._  
-

Niall and Perrie were sat downstairs when Harry finally decided to bite the bullet. Slowly, he walked down the stairs dressed only in one of Louis muscle tanks, a guilty smile painted on his face. He was ashamed, yet again drunk Harry had got him into a situation that had yet to have a different ending. He was dreading the earful he was going to get from Niall.

“Morning.”  
“Hi, guys.”

-  
**Niall** : _No wonder Harry's looking a little bit sheepish, he's just got out of Louis' bed, of_ course _we're gonna judge him. It's what we do._

-  
“Ah.” Harry started struggling to find words to defend himself.  
“I don't know what to say.”  
“What did you do?” Perrie asked, folding the neck of her paper bird.

“So, we're brushing each other's teeth.”  
“Hmm, sexy.”Niall couldn't help but laugh, he was friends with a bunch of idiots. “I can understand how it just happened after that.”  
“Is this foreplay now?”

“And then we started to kiss.” Harry blushed, his hands coming up to hide his face.

-  
**Niall** : _Fucking weirdos, brushing each other's teeth as some sort of kinky foreplay. Last time I checked, Harry didn't bring a fucking toothbrush, so it better not have fucking been mine, the scruffy bastard!_

-

“How'd you feel about that?” Perrie asked, she could see the worry in Harrys eyes, the green that was once so bright and clear seemed so dull. It was like he was scared.

“ I've been trying not to think about it.”  
“How's that going so far?”

“Not very well.” he smiled, nervously biting a piece of folded paper.

“I don't think it's gonna be reoccurin’’

-

 **Perrie** : _he's saying he's not gonna go there again but Okay, Harry, we all believe you._

-  
"Me and Louis are just friends.” Niall mocked imitating the days that seemed so far in the past. “Wish I had a paper bird for every time I'd heard that.”

-  
**Liam** : _Last night when we got back from the club, none of us even attempted to do any of_ them _stupid birds._ _Niall's trying to make us all do these when we're hungover. I wouldn't do them anyways, never mind now._

-

Soon enough everyone was downstairs, huddled around the coffee table, drowning their hangovers in challenging paper art. They all hated Anna with burning passion.

Soon enough for his liking, there was a knock on the door, Niall couldn't help but groan: speak of the devil. Reluctantly, he walked to the door, letting Anna into the house. If only the ground could swallow him up.  
“Morning.”  
“Hi, Niall.”  
“You all right?” 

“Yeah.”  
“How have you done with the origami birds?

-

 **Niall** : _I know that Anna's here about these fucking birds. The thing is, we haven't even made half, so I've not got a leg to stand on._

-  
“How many have we got in total?”

“We've got about 100.” said niall his lip catching between his teeth.  
“About 100”  
“Yeah.”

-  
**Perrie** : _Anna's here, and she wants to count these stupid oregano pigeons and we are nowhere near finished. Fuck!_

-

“ I don't think it's fair to put the blame on everyone 'cause it's not been a group effort if I'm honest. Liam spent most of her time up in bed, couldn't be arsed, in fact, I didn't even want her to come down here and try and help because she just made the energy go down.”

“Oh, my God!” Harry and Liam spluttered as if Niall would grass her in.

“ It's true, mate.”  
-

 **Liam** : _Niall's grasses us up to Anna. Is he having a laugh? Who the fuck does he think he is_

-

“Niall was shit at showing us how to do them.” Liam wasn't going to sit there and get bad mouthed without putting up a fight. Recently, it was like Niall was just out to get her, as though she had a problem that Liam just couldn't see. Even if it was because of Zayn, she just couldn't see why that would make any difference to her and Niall’s relationship.  
“How dare you throw me under the bus, you lazy cow?” Niall shouted, fucking self righteous cow. He hated her.

“Niall, it seems like you've been let down by everybody here, but, ultimately, you are the team leader.” Anna started as Niall went to sit beside Sophia.  
“I know, I know, it's my fault.”  
“I think you need to up your game, boy.”  
“I'm really sorry, I won't let you down again.”  
“Well, you'll all wanna thank your lucky stars 'cause this event got cancelled.”  
“Oh?”

“Yes.”

-  
**Niall** : _Seven hours! Seven hours I've spent folding these fucking birds! I've got paper cuts! I've got paper cuts on top of fucking paper cuts! And in waltzes Anna, all nonchalant and just announces quite casually that the event has been cancelled! Cancelled?! I'll fold you into the shape of a fucking paper bird in a minute, you daft slag!_

-

“Anyway, you've got a Tash-on Tours job tonight, all right? So, I want brilliant feedback from this one, please.  
Don't let her down.”Anna said before briskly exiting the house.  
“Bye.”  
“Bye Anna.” they all shouted after her, besides Sophia and Scott who each put their middle fingers up to annas back.  
-

 **Niall** : _These fucking birds have pissed us right off._

-  
“So, we've got work, this evening. You're going.” Niall pointed to Zayn smiling at the pleased expression on his best friends face.  
“Wicked.”  
“Scott, you're going.” He pointed just before turning to Louis.  
“You're going.” Although Louis wasn't really paying attention, he was watching Harrys face drop as Niall assigned him a work shift, he knew it had always made Harry uncomfortable whenever Louis was at work.  
-

 **Niall** : _Tonight, I'm sending Zayn, Scott and Louis to work, they did really well with the origami and I know they love Tash-on Tours._

-  
“ Er, it's just the three of we?” Zayn asked as he got up to start getting ready.

Niall turned to the group with a smug smile on his face, he was going to enjoy this. “And I'm gonna say, Liam.”

-  
**Niall** : _Liam, she was a lazy cow, so she can fucking go 'cause I know she hates work.Ha-ha!_

-

“The rest of yous, enjoy your night off.” he said before the group split apart.

-

The Girls Room

Harry and Perrie were upstairs getting ready for their night out. Harry wanted to look gorgeous tonight, he was going all out, his lashes were on, his eyebrows were filled in perfectly and his highlight was on point. It was just his hair that wasn't going to plan. He wanted to have it up in a bun but he couldn't get it to look right, he just looked bald. He wasn't having it. Perrie had noticed how stressed he was getting, so she decided to help in his time of need, putting half of his hair up into ‘Space Buns’ like she had seen earlier on her twitter. Harry looked stunning, his lips were bitten red and his eyes were sparkling, beautiful.

“Louis’ going to work”

“And?”

“And I don't know whether I want him to pull.” he whispered absentmindedly prodding his powder with one of his brushes.

“I'm just gonna speak to him.”  
“What you gonna say?”

“I'm just gonna say Well, I'm gonna play it really cool.” he said turning his full attention to Perrie, getting ready to explain his foolproof plan. This was going to work.  
“Playing it cool never works, Haz.”  
-

 **Harry** : _I don't really know how to act or behave around Louis, it's been such a long time since we've been close, I just don't know how to play it._

-  
“I've had this really big cool plan.”  
“What, right, what was the cool plan?”

“That I was just gonna be like "Hi, Louis, just wanted to pull you aside "for one second, um, just to let you know I'm just breezy with all this.”  
“You can't say that though, 'cause you're not.” Perrie laughed taking the brush from Harry’s grip before he took her eye out with it.  
“Yeah, I am.”  
“No, you're not!”

”I am breezy.”  
“You're not breezy.”  
-

 **Perrie** : _Everybody knows that "Harry and breezy" don't go together in a sentence. He doesn't know how to play it cool at all._

-  
**Harry** : _Why do I not feel fine with him going out and pulling?_

-

“Right, I've gotta go down and I can't tell him I'm breezy 'cause I'm not breezy.”  
“You're not breezy at all!”

-

 **Harry** : _I wanna tell Louis that I don't want him to pull anyone, because I don't want him to pull anyone. Fuck, this is too confusing, I had a boyfriend two days ago for fuck's sake! What the hell is going on?_

-

Harry had never been so nervous in his life. He had butterflies to share squirming around his stomach everytime Louis even glanced in his direction. It was like a primary school crush, or the feeling you'd get when your first boyfriend would first hold your hand. Nervewracking.He couldn't help but watch the other boy from across the kitchen table, he was in his element, eyes shining and laughing at whatever story Zayn was telling. Harry had always thought that Louis was just a great person to sit and admire what he's like. Tonight was no exception. It was when Niall announced that they were ready to leave that Harry started to panic again, this was his chance.

“Right, and yous are ready?” 

“Yeah, I'm ready.”  
“Come on then let's go to work.”  
“Have a good night everyone! Bye!”

Shit. It was time.

“Louis Louis”

Sophia was having the time of her life, she had a front-row seat the most pathetic plea for attention she had ever seen in her life. Watching Harry squirm was by far the funniest thing on this planet.

“What?” Louis stopped in his tracks when he heard Harry.

Harry couldn't even bring himself to say it, he couldn't face the rejection.“Have a good time at work” He laughed turning to Sophia who looked pained from holding in her laughter.

“I will.” Louis was confused, Harry looked desperate for him to only come out with something so on the surface was so unusual. He just left it though, turning to the door he began to walk away only to be met with Harry stammering and reaching towards him making ‘grabby hands’.  
“What? I'm going.”  
“I'm going.”

Harry was a mess, he couldn't do anything but laugh. His face was definitely flushed beneath his makeup he could feel the heat and the headache forming between his eyes.

-

 **Louis** : _As I'm leaving for work, Harry shouts over, but all he's doing is stuttering and laughing. I know for a fine fact what he was gonna say._

-  
“Harry, I'm going.” Louis warned as he heard Niall shouting from outside.  
“Right, okay.” The younger boy laughed his eyes flitting between Louis and Sophia.  
“Right.”

Harry had no other choice than to follow the boy to the door in a last-ditch attempt to get his question out.

-

 **Harry** : _Why? Why is this happening? The words are there, they're just not coming out. Don't pull anyone!_

-

“ I've gotta go.” He whispered placing his hands on Harry's shoulders to try and calm him down.  
“Are you gonna pull?” He did it, it was finally out there in the open. This was it. Harry couldn't help but divert his eyes from Louis’ and hold his breath, all he could fear was rejection.

“No.”  
“All right, okay, that's good.” He stammered running away from the front door and back up to the safety of his and Perrie’s room.

“Fucking hell! Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed!” He cried out as he climbed the stairs as Sophia lost her shit, laughing and snorting into her cereal.

-

 **Niall** : _We're all off to Tash-on Tours at Tiger Tiger. Tonight is singles night, let's play some games and see how many people we can get necking on._

-

The club was thriving, the entire crowd cheering upon their arrival. Zayn went around to everyone who had come out to see them, greeting them all and wishing them a nice evening. Knowing full well he was the most polite out of the bunch and they get feedback based on how they treat the singles. He really couldn't be bothered with getting reamed out by Anna.

  
“This one's called lip-syncing, right? The winner is who can cover their partner in as many kisses as possible, okay?”Niall explained from his vantage point on stage, they had a job to do if they wanted to keep their places in the house. These singles needed to be happy and it was his job to help them get tashing on.

“Right, Liam, will you do this one as well?” He asked the younger girl.

“No I'm not doing it with a random, no” She wasn't having any of it, She was not going to make a fool out of herself especially with Zayn in the crowd. No.

-

 **Niall** : _I've asked Liam to do the lip-syncing game with one of the singles, and she's refused. That's what it's all about, getting the singles involved._

-  
“Who would you like to do it with?”

“Can I not do it with one of our lads.” She asked, hopefully, Niall would pick Zayn, that way Liam could get some time with him and avoid any possible drama.

-

 **Liam** : _I don't get why Niall's doing this to us, what the fuck is this lad's problem with us?_

-

“Scott, will you do it this game with Liam?” Or maybe Liam wouldn't have such luck, Thanks, Niall.

-

 **Scott** : _Bit of a blast from the past like, but I'll do yer. Soz, Zayn, didn't get jealous._

-  
“Now!” Niall shouted to signal the start of the game.

And they were off, two singles against Liam and Scott. The preface was simple, they just left lipstick marks over each others bodies, Zayn knew it was just work. That didn't stop him from absolutely fuming though. The girl was all over one of his best friends for fuck sake, how could he be okay with that?

-

 **Zayn** : _I do not wanna watch Scott and Liam all over each other. If I watch this game, I'm just gonna wind myself up._

-  
“5! 4! 3! 2! 1!’ The crowd shouted together, the alcohol clearly getting to them at this point in the evening.

-

 **Niall** : _If looks could kill, Liam and Scott would be six feet under. Zayn is fucking foaming._

-  
“Guys, we have a winner.”  
“Liam and Scott got 30, This lovely couple got 45!” Niall shouted, and maybe it was a slight white lie, Scott and Li had actually won by a landslide, but whats the fun in watching your hosts win?

The night was winding down and all games had been played. Just before they were all due to leave Scott decided to stir up some drama. He slinked over to Zayn and wrapped an arm around the other's shoulders shouting in his ear. “I need to get your fuckin lass’s lipstick off us. Ay, don't get jealous kid.”

Zayn was pissed off, how dare this cocky prick come up to him and try and act like they're friends at this point. “Don't talk to me, don't talk to me. Don't talk to me.” He warned pushing Scott away every time he got even remotely close to him.  
-

 **Zayn** : _Of course I'm pissed off, I know it's just a game, but, if I was kissing a girl, she would go off it._

-  
**Perrie** : _I am so glad that we are not at work tonight, which means we can go out and get on it._

-  
The smaller group had made their way to the club, climbing out of the taxi one by one. Harry looked stunning, He and Perrie had picked out matching outfits, Harry in a black sheer shirt, a pair of tan trousers that clung to his hips and a pair of strappy black heels. Whereas Perrie had gone with a white t-shirt and black and white trousers. They were a force to be reckoned with. Eleanor, Sophia, Perrie and Harry were all huddled around a booth toasting to their night of freedom. Eleanor had come up with a delicious cocktail, it had gin, pineapple juice, red syrup and an abundance of other ingredients, it was absolutely delicious. But it was getting them absolutely hammered, small sips going straight to their heads.

Perrie grabbed hold of Harry's waist teaching him ways to entice Louis, as he so desperately wanted in his drunken state, and she was in no better place to try and persuade him otherwise. “Bend over. Arch here. And now wiggle”

-

“Do you fancy Scott?” Zayn questioned, obviously agitated with the events of the night.

“No!”

“If you and Scott fancy each other, I won't stand in your way. But I would make it awkward, believe me.” he warned grabbing his drink from the bar.

-

 **Zayn** : _I am a jealous person, and it seems to come out even more with Liam._

-  
“Course I’m gonna kick off. Are you mad!?”

“Okay.”  
“That is you're gonna fancy me?” Zayn was making absolutely no sense at this point

“Listen, listen, listen, okay.”Liam whispered her hands going to rest on either side of the boy's jaw in an attempt to calm him down.  
-

 **Liam** : _I'm secretly quite pleased I made Zayn jealous with Scott, because at least now I know he still cares._

-  
Niall made his way to the door, his group in tow. He needed a drink and he needed one fast “Ready, let's go!”

-

 **Niall** : _Work is finally over and, although there was no tashing on, everyone pulled their weight, apart from Liam, who's a bit of a bell end._

-  
**Scott** : _Whoo! We get to the club and it looks like the rest of the squad are already there but, now that I'm in the building, the party can really get fucking started._

-

The workforce made their way into the club, where they were greeted by an incredibly drunken foursome, smiles plastered all over their faces. Louis made his way straight to harry, his eyes dilating at the sheer sight of him. Although he couldn't help but feel cheated by the six-inch heels his boy was wearing, he was only 5ft 9 for god sake. He was!

-  
**Louis** : _Harry is looking fit. I think I might have another bed guest tonight._

-

Louis couldn't help but stare at Harry throughout the night, he tried to not seem so desperate but it was difficult when Harry had such an infectious laugh and he kept chasing his straw with his tongue instead of just moving it to his mouth. It was time to clear the air from earlier in the night, it was time to put him straight.  
“I’m not gonna do what I used to do. What have I got to prove by bangin birds? That's fuckin’ been. Gone. done. Alright?” he shouted over the music looking down to where Harry was sat, smiling despite the glass touching his lips. Louis lifted his hand so they could share a strictly platonic high five, but instead of them breaking apart Harry held on to his hand, tangling their fingers together in the process.

-

 **Harry** : _Louis's telling us he's not gonna pull, and I can't help but feel completely and utterly over the moon._

-  
**Zayn** : _Mine and Liam's arguments are absolutely ridiculous 'cause, to be honest, I really like her and I can't keep away._

-

Zayn couldn't keep his eyes away from Liam. She looked beautiful, her eyes were dusted in gold eyeshadow, her hair (that she had spent so long straightening) was beginning to curl around her cheekbones, the heat of the club had gone to her cheeks dusting them in a subtle flush. She was enchanting. He was so fucked. Something Eleanor had caught on to from across the table.  
“Zayn… Liams got somethin’ she wants to tell ya” Eleanor taunted laughing along with Sophia who was pounding drink after drink.

“Really?”

“I don't! I said. I told him that you had nice eyes.” Liam was a blushing mess at this point, she was going to kill Eleanor before this night ended.

“Do I?”

“Yeah”

-

 **Eleanor** : _So, here I am again, playing Cupid with Zayn and Liam. Come on, guys, kiss and make up._

-  
“She said she likes your lips” Eleanor finished cocking her eyebrow at the sight before her.

That information was all zayn needed before he was lacing his hand through Liam's hair and pulling her forward to connect their lips. Liam couldn't help but release the smile she had been trying to suppress, their teeth clashing as they grin at each other. It was perfect.

-

 **Liam** : _So now,_ me _and Zayn are all over each other again, we're flirting, we're even kissing. I can't keep up._

 _-_  
**Scott** : _Zayn and Liam are all over each other again. It's so funny how she can just click her fingers and he forgets everything and turns into a pure melt._

 _-_  
**Harry** : _Tonight is going amazing, everyone's mortal, everyone's getting on, this night couldn't be better._

-

“Cheers!”

“Go, go, go, go, go, go!” They all shouted at Perrie as she downed a double shot of vodka, and then proceeded to throw up in a cup whilst Harry screamed in the background. He'd never been one for vomit.

-

 **Perrie** : _I'm absolutely mortal, I've been sick in a cup, we're going home._

-  
**Scott:** _Back at the house, and Scotty T drunk equals pure bedlam._

-

The house was like walking into a different world. Perrie was walking around with a tin foil hat on her head, paranoid that the government were listening in to her brain. To be fair they wouldn't have got any other thought other than ‘I want a kebab, I want a kebab’ but she was paranoid nonetheless. Scott was throwing lemons at Zayn and Louis and Sophia was throwing empty takeaway boxes at Harry with the empty promise that they were full. She then proceeded to pierce a hole in the side of a diet coke bottle. Perrie was walking around Soph with her tongue hanging out trying to get some of the diet coke stream. Apparently, Soph didn't understand that the desperate ‘ah’s’ meant she wanted something, oh how she had so much to learn.

-  
**Eleanor** : _Ah! Eh! I live in a house full of animals. I'm starting to feel like a zookeeper._

-

As the night rolled on, Louis had already picked up Perrie from the floor and put her to bed, along with ensuring Eleanor didn't have a nervous breakdown. Safe to say one task was easier than the other. Zayn and Liam were in their own little world, trading lazy, little kisses, her nails teasing his back as he runs his hands under her opened shirt.

-  
**Zayn** : _Me and Liam are getting on really well again and, to be honest, all the arguments make us wanna come back for more._

-  
“On a serious note if you're gonna touch me foof tonight I'll have to go and shave it” she whispered, hot breath shooting a shiver down Zayn's spine.

-

 **Liam** : _If anything is gonna happen tonight with me and Zayn, I need to be prepared. There's no way I'm letting him touch my hairy fanny._

-  
“Li? Oh, shit.” Harry called from across the room. “Shall we go to the bathroom?”  
-

 **Harry** : _I've decided to give her a hand shaving her vagina._

-  
“I don't feel as bad getting in bed with Zayn if you get into bed with Louis.” Liam had to raise her voice slightly to be heard over the sound of the shower, even with Harry stood right next to the door.  
“No, do you know what?”

“It's not wrong?”

“I don't feel bad either about it.” Harry confessed walking backwards, deciding to sit on the laundry basket. Said basket collapsed immediately under the weight of the boy. They both burst out laughing, Harry lay out on the floor like a beached whale and Li curled in on herself struggling to breathe under the stream of water.  
“Right.”  
“The only thing that matters right now.” He smirked pointing with a limp wrist.  
“Is my fanny.”  
“Yeah, your vagina.”  
“I can't concentrate on me fanny now.”  
-

“You are my boy. My boy.” Li said diving into Zayn's bed face first.  
“I'm your boy now, am I?” Zayn humoured her drunk state, climbing into the bed beside her.

“My boy.”  
“Eventually.” He whispered hugging the girl close to his chest.  
-

 **Zayn** : _I can't wait to get into bed with Liam, it's been weeks of teasing now, and I'm horny as fuck._

-  
**Liam** : _So, me and Zayn are having a kiss and a cuddle, and I'm so happy about it. After all the arguing, I didn't expect this to happen._

-

He edges his fingers ever so slightly down, running over the soft curve of her hips, he slips right between her legs to touch the pads of his index and middle fingers to her clit, rubbing over her. She groans, and pushes against him, desperately rubbing against his hand. She releases his shoulders from her death grip, instead, she curls her fingers over the back of his neck. Zayn hikes up one of her legs over his hip with his free hand, keeping his fingers still pressed against where she drips for him. It really doesn’t take long for her to shudder through her orgasm with his name on the tip of her tongue. She's asleep in minutes with a satisfied smile on her lips.  
-

 **Harry** : _So, it looks like me and Louis are gonna cuddle again tonight, and maybe even a bit more. Oh, my God!_

-

 **Louis** : _I can't believe I'm back in the shag pad with Harry. It's so weird how quick times can change._

-

Harry laughs a little bit, curling in on Louis. The elder of the two getting a bit handsy under the covers. It's all happening so suddenly and Harry’s still scared, but right now, he’s content, thinking about how he won't be alone in the morning. Louis will be there, next to him, on the couch, in the kitchen, keeping the bed warm. They have a lot to figure out, but right now, he closes his eyes and falls asleep without much of a fight, Louis’ arms snug around his waist and his head on Louis’ chest.

Tomorrow will come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I can get a final part out of the dialogue, let me know if you want to see it!


	4. Perfectly Imperfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bunch of singles get raunchy in morph suits, Niall and Liam come to heads about some ceramic and Louis spends his third night in bed with Harry. Normal craic really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of this part of the series. The final 15 minutes.  
> -disclaimer: people were confused about whether or not I knew about the grammatical mistakes, Yes! half of this is a transcript so what is written is exactly what they say. Geordies have a very particular dialect so it isn't just sloppy grammar I swear!-

Niall had never been this hungover in his life. His eyes were pulsing in his skull, the dull ache in his head was making want to cease living. His tongue was dry and his spit tasted like vomit. It was fresh hell, and funnily enough, the smiling faces of Perrie and Harry in front of him didn't make him feel any better.

“Morning.” Perrie says far too loudly, the ache in Niall's head spreading slightly.   
“Morning, everyone!” Harry seconds, equally as loud and equally as annoying.

“Morning, everyone!” 

“Why have you got a naughty grin on your face? Tell us you haven't shagged Lou?” Niall hasn't seen that smile since they were in Europe, that shit eating grin that screams ‘I did something that you're going to punch me in the face for’.

“No, I didn't shag him, I got poked”    
“You got poked?” Niall was shocked, it's not often that Harry is embarrassed, he's always been so lovingly unabashed about everything he does. His sudden burst of prudishness doesn't quite sit well with Niall. 

-

**Harry** : _I'm feeling pretty naughty and satisfied with myself this morning. Everyone loves a cheeky digit._

-   
“And I think I sucked him off.” Harry added his hand shooting up to cover his mouth, as though he could catch the words before they hit the ears of the others.   
-

**Niall** : _The look on Harry's face just says it all, he looks like the cat that got chlamydia._

-   
Out of nowhere, there was a peep from Liam's bed “I got poked too.” She laughed looking even more embarrassed than Harry.

-   
**Harry** : _What the hell? Who doesn't love synchronised fingering? I wonder if our moans were even in tune._

_ - _   
“Get what we want, then we just fuck off.”    
“Ooh, you big players.”   
“We're on top.” Harry laughed whilst doing that stupid hipster hand gesture that Niall is convinced translates as ‘I wear gym socks and vans because I have a tiny penis’   
“Ooh, yeah, go on, lads.” They all clapped along, on top of the world.

-   
**Niall** : _Harry got poked by Lou, Li got poked off Zayn, and I just went to bed with me wrinkle cream on._ _   
I know who I think's the winner in this situation. _

-

Niall, Liam, Harry and Perrie hid out in their room for the majority of the morning, lazily gossiping about the lad's performances. Oh, the dirt that they shared in those little meetings. Even Perrie joined in, comparing how different it was getting with Sophia drunk to when she used to sleep with Scotty. Sophia was winning according to lasting times, a piece of information that if it got out, could ruin Scotty T’s reputation out in the Toon.

 

Soon enough though the smell of vodka and vomit radiating from the bin by the door was getting a bit too much for them, so they did what is argued as the most challenging task of the day. Getting up. Liam took her place in Zayn's lap on the sofa, Perrie sat beside Soph not too close to seem clingy, but close enough that Sophia knew she was there, and Harry ungraciously fell on top of Louis, his elbow very narrowly missing Louis’ ballsack. Louis couldn't breathe right for at least 5 minutes after that close call.

-   
**Niall** : _The phone rings, and I've got a funny feeling it's gonna be Anna, and I just know she's gonna wanna find out what happened at work last night._

_ - _   
“Hiya Niall”

“Oh, hi, Anna, you all right?” He asked putting on his overly excited voice in an attempt at charming Anna.

“How was last night?”

“It was a brilliant night, the only exception was I asked Liam to demonstrate on one of the clients and she wouldn't.”

“You need to toughen up”   
“I know. I never thought I'd hear that.” Niall laughed leaning on the wall of the phone box to steady himself as his head spun.   
-

**Niall** : _Anna's right, I'm allowing Liam to walk all over us. What the fuck is wrong with us?_

-

“Make sure they respect you, It's very important”

“Okay.”

“Well, I'll give you a chance. You’ve got a group date this afternoon-”   
“Uh-huh.”

“But it's a new kind of blind speed dating”   
“Oh, wow, that sounds interesting.”

-   
**Niall** : _Today's work is blind speed dating. I've no idea what it is, but it sounds exciting._

-   
Niall ended the phone call and went to get ready trying to determine who would be the best fit for work and what he was going to make Liam do as punishment. What would piss Liam off the most, oh it was a fun 10 minutes for Niall.

“We've got work this afternoon, two of yous have gotta do that.” Niall announced whilst walking down the stairs, graciously pulling off some turquoise trousers that Harry had deemed ‘too gay’ for himself.   
“Stop looking at me!” Perrie was burning under the gaze of her evil friend. 

“Well, you met me eye, didn't ya? So you're at work this afternoon.”

-   
**Perrie** : _Oh, man! What is the point in being best friends with the boss, when he still sends yer to work, this isn't fair!_

_ - _

“And so are you, Eleanor.” Niall said pointing to where she was stood, knowing full well Eleanor couldn't care less whether she was at work.   
“I'm coming with yous in a supervisory role.”   
“There's gonna start to be punishments if I don't think one of yous has performed well at work.” Niall started, closely followed by “Bearing that in mind. Last night, Liam, I asked you to the lip syncing game with a single, you refused.”

-   
**Liam** : _I didn't pull me weight last night? I put in so much effort and I done everything he said._ _   
What the fuck is wrong with him?  _

-

“Unfortunately, dear, I'm gonna ask you to clean the kitchen.” The look on Liam's face was picture perfect, her stupid pouty lips were on full show and her wrinkles were showing. All Niall could think was ‘Suck on that Princess’.   
“I'm not doing the dishes.”

-   
**Liam** : _I'm not cleaning everyone's shitty fucking plates up, especially not for fucking boss-bitch Niall._

-   
“Liam? Your marigolds are calling.” Niall was enjoying being condescending, whoever said that great power came with great responsibility clearly never exacted revenge upon his smug roommate, what a wasted opportunity of a saying. 

-   
**Eleanor** : _I'm off to work with Niall and Perrie, I haven't been yet, so maybe this is about time I pulled me finger out._

-

They were off, Niall, Perrie and Eleanor were ready to take the world by storm in their shitty little ‘Tash On Tours’ car and their rather unprofessional attire. It was a sight and a half. Once they had reached their destination they all stumbled out of the car only to be greeted by three suit bags containing three questionably designed morph suits. When they had changed, they made their way into the main area of the bar where all of the singles were waiting in their own morph suits. It was so weird.

-   
**Niall** : _The idea behind blind speed dating is that you get to know the person you're chatting to._ _   
You don't judge them purely on their physical appearance. It's a really good idea and one that some of the lads in the house could certainly fucking use. _

-   
“Speed date!” Niall shouted once he had paired up all of the singles and had them sat opposite each other.

The sight was like no other, some of the pairs were casually chatting, others holding hands, and one particularly daring couple were having a neck on, in the middle of the bar! In morph suits! 

“Oh, look at yous two. Saucy bastards.” 

 

Once the conversation portion of the date was over, they all stood up to get a more physical inspection by each other. One pair, the same pair that was openly snogging after three minutes of conversation, were all but shagging, her legs wrapped tightly around his hips whilst he dry humped her shamefully.   
“Oh! - Getting on already.” Eleanor was scared, to say the least, people were so forward here.   
Perrie, on the other hand, was absolutely loving it, a grin plastered on her face as she catcalled “Go on!” 

-

**Perrie** : _I can't actually believe my eyes, I have never seen speed dating like it, it's unreal! Whoo!_

-

“You don't wanna get too excited in one of these suits like.” Eleanor joked trying to diffuse the awkward sexual tension hanging in the air. All the while Niall was rolling around on the booth seats, laughing himself into the fetal position, tear tracks staining the sides of his nose.   
-

**Eleanor** : _Everyone is loving it. This is a success._

-

The end of the session came quicker than Perrie had wanted, the only work shift she had actually enjoyed was over and it was time for the face reveal. “One, two, three.”One by one the couples lined up and their morph suits were zipped down to reveal their faces. By the end, each couple seemed happy, each setting up following dates for later in the week. A certified success in the eyes of Niall, no punishments for Eleanor or Perrie, in fact, he decided at that moment that he would give them a few days off. With a final goodbye to the singles, the trio piled back into the TOT mobile and made their way home, recounting fondly, their afternoon together.   
  


-   
“Hello? Hi.” They all shouted as they all but fell through the front door. It took a few seconds than he'd like to admit, however, to see past Sophia spinning around on her chair to notice the state of the kitchen. Plates and glasses were piled high, each covered in filth. The bin was overflowing with rotting food and the mugs all still had tea bags in them. 

“Can I ask why the kitchen is still like this?” Niall was fuming, he had been gone for 4 hours and the lazy bitch couldn't even wash a single plate. 

“Yeah, Li didn't do it” Sophia answered her, trying her hardest to stay out of the firing line.    
“What the hell?” 

-

**Niall** : _I get back from work and who would have thought it? The kitchen's still a pig sty. Thanks a lot, Liam, you lazy bint._

_ - _   
“Liam!” 

“She’s asleep”

-

**Perrie** : _Fuck! Liam hasn't cleaned the kitchen, Niall is gonna kick the fuck off._

-

If Niall wasn't angry before, he was absolutely boiling when he stormed upstairs and saw Liam peacefully asleep. A pile of dirty plates and glasses high on her nightstand. She was fucking disgusting, and she was a cocky prick thinking she could walk all over Niall. She had been here for less than a year, Niall had three times that on her and yet she thought she ran the shop? No.

“Why does the kitchen still look like that!” He shouted pulling the covers off of her body.

-   
**Liam** : _Niall's just stormed in the room, woke us out of a deep nice sleep and kicked off at us about not cleaning the kitchen. Who the fuck does he think he is?_

-

“I don't know why I got punished, 'cause I just feel like, I feel like I didn't do anything wrong.”   
“Well you're about to get worse, 'cause you're not going out tonight.” He warned storming out the room leaving a bewildered looking Liam in his wake.   
“Okay.”

-   
**Liam** : _I'm pretending that I don't care, but I'm fucking burning inside._ _   
I fucking hate him! _

-

 

It wasn't long until Liam was storming downstairs, her normally perfect hair tussled with sleep and her mascara painting the undersides of her eyes. If Niall wasn't angry he would have taken the time to laugh at her. But no, Liam was on the warpath and she had her eyes set on Niall. 

“You don't seem very disappointed either, I think you just see this thing as a big joke.   
So, if you think it's so funny, Liam, you can stay in tonight and clean the entire kitchen.   
And, if it's not done when I come back, you will stay in every night until it's cleaned.” Niall wasn't scared of her, she really didn't phase him, if anything he was quite impressed in his ability to stress her out so quickly.   
“Well, do that then, 'cause I feel like this is not on, at all.”

-   
**Liam** : _Niall's now saying that I've gotta stay in every night until the kitchen's clean._ _   
Bothered!  _

-

It wasn't long before they were full blown arguing. Screaming at each other like in those really theatrical silent movies, as though steam was about to shoot out of their ears.

“Why should I clean everyone's filth?” 

“'Cause that's what I asked you to do.”   
“But that's everyone I've done nothing wrong.”   
“You have!” 

“I've done nothing wrong!”

“Everyone's doing what I tell them to do.”   
“- I've done nothing wrong!” 

-

**Niall** : _I don't know who she thinks she's kicking off at, she's gotta wash these dishes and, if she's not fucking careful, I'm gonna hoy her in the dishwasher and all!_

-

It was a spectacle. They were both waving their arms about and shouting like they weren't two centimetres apart. Eleanor and Sophia were pottering around the kitchen, acting as though they were busy when realistically they were waiting to pull Niall and Liam off each other should it get physical. Harry had never been one for shouting, especially when it was between two people and he wasn't involved, it made him feel vulnerable so he hid with Perrie at the bottom of the bathroom stairs trying to control his breathing as Perrie rubbed his back and played with his curls. Zayn and Louis were watching from the bannister, Zayn’s eyes fixed on Liam and Lou’s focused on Harry’s erratic breathing trying to telepathically encourage him to calm down. And Scotty was probably in the shag pad having a wank, blissfully unaware of the bitching match.

 

“Tell me why should I clean that up?

“You've done absolutely nothing.”   
“Why should I clean that up?”

“Why are you different than everyone else?” 

“Why should I clean that up, though?” 

“Why are you different from anyone else?” 

“Why should I clean that shithole up? Why should I?”

“Because you’re not a princess”

“But why?”

“Because I'm telling you.”   
“Have I ever asked you to do it ever?” 

“Because you're not the boss. It's nothing to do with you.”   
“I wouldn't ask you to do it.”    
“Fuck off then, Liam, forget it.”Niall shouted, waving his arm like he was shooing her away. He had no time for immature girls. 

-   
**Liam** : _Niall's taking this boss role way too far and it's starting to come in-between us as friends._   
-

“Neeone fucking wants you to be boss, anyway. You take it too fucking seriously.” She finished as she stormed upstairs, slamming her door behind her. That was enough to set Niall off into a full-blown laughing fit, he couldn't help it, it was like watching Bambi fight, or Simba's baby roar. Li just thought she was so much more intimidating than she was, positively hilarious.

“Fuck, that looked serious.”

-   
**Niall** : _Oh, my God! Being team leader proper sucks cock! Thought I was just gonna be able to sit round and do fuck all but, in reality, it's getting on me tits._

-

It doesn't take long for Liam to appear at Zayn's door. Her eyes all puffy like shes three seconds from having a fully fledged breakdown, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were getting all wrinkly as she mutters to herself. Li had always been someone who shied away from confrontation, well except that time she yanked Perrie’s extensions out at Bijoux, but that was all water under the bridge. She was strong, that was something he had always admired about her, the ability to stand there and take so much from everyone and act unphased. He guessed that was why seeing her so far on the edge was affecting him so much.

  
“Just calm down”

“Aye but it's just stressin us out. I feel like I'm being alienated from everyone else.” she whimpered, her eyes flooding with tears. Zayn had never crossed a room so quickly in his life, collecting her up in his arms, keeping her close to his chest, whispering little things in her ear to try and make her smile.

“See if I can get you something to hit him with.”

-

The evening passed uneventfully after that, Liam kept herself to herself, sitting quietly on the sofa watching old reruns of Only Fools and Horses. Upstairs, Niall, Perrie and Harry were all sat in front of the mirror, Harry opted to go au naturale, considering him and Louis were better than ever and he didn't exactly feel the need to impress him. He coated his hair in dry shampoo claiming it was for texture when in reality it was because he hadn't felt like washing his hair for a few days, the whole battle of standing in the shower with his hands in his hair seemed much too daunting. 

Perrie agreed to go in a similar state, only combing through her eyebrows with some pomade and putting her lashes on, figuring that her cleavage would do all the work for her tonight. Niall put on his best shirt and jeans and made sure his hair was perfect, convincing himself that he had done it for him and only him, in fact, he just wanted to spite Liam for disobeying him. 

-

**Niall** : _We're all heading out, minus Liam, and I just hope that without her there, we're headed for an argument-free night._

-   
“Whoo-hoo!”

“Bye, Liam! Bye, Li! Bye!” Zayn, Louis and Harry shouted as they headed through the door.

-

**Liam** : _All the others have gone out, and I've gotta stay in until the kitchen's cleaned._ _   
Fuck my life!  _

-

After spending at least 10 minutes wallowing in self-pity, Li got ready to battle the kitchen. Whilst putting up her hair into a bun she came up with a game plan. She walks over to the kitchen slower than she has ever walked anywhere despite her eagerness to go out. Reluctantly, she starts placing some of the plates in the dishwasher.

-

**Liam** : _I've done a few dishes, enough for us all to eat off, and I've put the rest of them in a bin liner and I've hid them.As far as Niall will be able to tell, I've cleaned the kitchen. What he doesn't know won't hurt him._ _   
Fuck this, I'm going out. _

-

A foolproof plan, she figures as she pushes the bin bag of dishes under the chair. Evidence hidden in plain view as it seems, She strategically places a blanket over said chair in an attempt of drawing attention away from the crime and then heads upstairs to get changed. Li has a long night ahead of her.

-   
**Perrie** : _I'm absolutely buzzing for tonight, it's our favourite place. Bijoux._

-

The night was in full swing, the drinks were flowing and everyone was dancing. At one point Louis and Perrie were twerking on each other, it was common knowledge in the house that Louis had the best arse, one that when drunk even Scott got a bit handsy with. Harry's favourite asset of Louis, he thought amused by his own pun. These were Harry's favourite moments, when everyone was laughing at jokes that would make absolutely no sense in the morning but they meant the world to them in the moment. Watching people dance like fools knowing full well that in their heads they think that they look like professionals. Moves to rival Diversity or the ALDC. Nights when they were a family, platonic kisses and hugs all round. It was perfect. Emphasis on ‘was’ seen as Scott and Sophia have broken away from the group in an attempt to pull.

-   
**Scott** : _Me and Sophia are off on the pull tonight, thank God I've got someone in the house who shares the same joys as me. Fanny!_

-

The pair bring back four girls. All blonde, all tall and all absolutely stunning. Harry was shitting himself, he was suddenly aware of his greasy hair and his lack of contour. He felt awful, like a fat dumpling next to four VS angels. What made it worse was Louis walking over to them with his flirty smile on his face. He offered the group of girls drinks, paying extra attention to the girl with the dress the exact same shade of lilac as Harry’s jumper. He felt second best again, like he had done for years. Louis, with his self-proclaimed degree in pulling birds, was back to his old ways and Harry had been naive again.

-

**Harry** : _Shit! Louis is talking to the girls, what do I do? What do I do? Play it breezy, I've gotta play this cool._

-

Psycho Harry was bubbling close to the surface and it wasn't long until he blew up, the longer he looked at the boy before him the angrier he got. Louis seemed to notice as he broke away from the group and went over to find the younger boy with a face like thunder. Funny thing is, he still looked beautiful.

“I’m really angry at you” Harry shouted over the music, turning his head to his drink rather than looking at Louis, who seemed to be sporting a face like a kicked puppy.

“I’ve done nothing wrong” Louis retaliated, suddenly getting defensive like he always did when he was confronted by Harry.

“You have!” Harry shouted again, his anger bubbling very close to the surface.

“What?”

-   
**Louis** : _I know exactly what's going through Harry's head. When he sees me talking to girls, he automatically thinks I'm gonna pull. I'm not gonna pull tonight and I'm not gonna pull any time soon. Get used to it._

-

“Do you think I’m gonna crack on with another bird, when I'm like, gettin with you?” Louis was hurt, for years Harry had been telling him that if he was going to focus on him rather than the nameless people then he would be happy. But now that Louis was doing that he was still in the wrong. It was like he couldn't win no matter what he did.

-   
**Harry** : _I can't help but feel paranoid because of all the shit he's done to us in the past._

-

“Harry right, you know me more than anyone right?”

“Yeah, I do.” Harry whispered his defence going down as Louis got closer to him, it was so frustrating how this boy could ruin his night and then still weasel his way back into his good books. 

“If I wanted to pull birds...I would be pullin birds.” he put bluntly, as though it would put Harry's mind at rest, when in reality it just reminded him that it was that simple for Louis to drop him, like he had done countless times before.   
-

**Harry** : _Louis's saying that he's definitely not gonna pull any other girls, but I still don't know whether I fully trust him, and I don't know whether I ever will._

_ - _

“I still don’t trust you” he stopped fighting him at this point, he was just tired of it all.

“Well, give us time and let yourself to trust me” Louis whispered bringing Harry closer to his body.

-   
**Zayn** : _Tonight is fucking mint, but it is weird not having Liam here._

-   
**Liam** : _I'm walking into Bijoux and I'm feeling so nervous, 'cause I haven't cleaned the kitchen, I'm gonna have to bare face lie to Niall._

-

Liam had dressed in a mesh shirt and high waisted jeans. Her outfit, however, could not distract her from the nerves coursing through her stomach. She was absolutely shitting herself as to what Niall would say. She needed a vodka tonic, stat. Before heading to the bar, she decided to show her face to the group, sneaking in between Perrie and Sophia. At first, Perrie thought it was just some random trying to get a free drink, no, it was Liam. Definitely not a person she had expected to see after today's argument.

-   
**Niall** : _Liam's here, thank God, that must mean she's cleaned the kitchen and we can finally put all this mess to bed._

-

“Liam” Niall shouted her over, silently asking the question everyone had on their minds.

“I’ve cleaned it!” She lied hugging Liam with her free hand

-   
**Liam** : _I look at him straight in the eyes and lie, and it didn't even bother us._

-   
**Zayn** : _I'm buzzing that Liam's arrived. Nights out without her just aren't the same, she can always put a smile on my face._

-

Liam took Zayn to one side, the secret she's harbouring becoming too much to keep to herself.

“I really wanted to come out, so I popped it all in a bin bag and I hid them”

“Why-aye? The glasses?” 

“The dishes.” Niall couldn't help but notice how they were both cry laughing, and he was pretty sure that Liam had never been funny. The thought alone put a bit of a sour taste in his mouth.

-   
**Zayn** : _I would hate to be Liam when Niall finds out that she hasn't done the dishes._

-

**Liam** : _I'm twenty-two why the fuck would I be at home cleanin’ the kitchen?_

-

**Eleanor** : _Everyone's mortal, it's time to go home, it's been the best night ever._

-

The group piled into two taxis, stopping at a takeaway on the way home. Nothing says a perfect night out like donner meat and chips to settle the £14 cocktail sitting in your stomach.  When they get back to the house, Niall, Liam and Eleanor put themselves to bed whilst Scott, Zayn, Harry and Louis all eat their tea. Sophia and Perrie are running around the house giggling to themselves, it was sickeningly sweet, well it was until it took more of a kinky turn.

-

**Perrie** : _We get back to the house and Sophia's licking my boob, and I'm loving it, but this is the furthest it's gonna go._

-

With that image fresh in their minds, Zayn goes to join Liam in bed and Louis leads Harry outside to the Shag Pad, leaving Sophia and Perrie downstairs. A few completely platonic kisses later Sophia leaves to go to sleep, emerging a few minutes later dressed only in black and burgundy lingerie. Now Perrie would be lying if she said she didn't salivate ever so slightly, but alas it was her time to sleep so she walked meekly up the stairs her eyes never once leaving Sophia.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I'm not looking at you like anything.”   
“Good night.” She whispered as the door closed with a quiet click.   
-

**Perrie** : _Yes, thank God, I did it, I'm a strong, independent woman, who is in her own bed._

-

Harry and Louis had settled down in the Shag Pad, an awfully grotesque name for what they were currently doing. Louis had his arm outstretched with Harry resting lightly upon it, his finger carefully tracing the ‘it is what it is’ tattoo.   
“This is the third night, you know?” Harry spoke into the darkness, nervously awaiting Louis’ reaction.

“So?” Louis whispered, his hand playing with the curls at the bottom of the younger boys neck.

-

**Louis** : _Fuck! Three times means shit is getting real._

-   
“How has this happened? How has this happened?” Harry laughed, completely exasperated with the situation.

“I'm enjoying spending time with you, so I'm enjoying myself.”   
“I'm having fun as well. I just I just don't It just all came out of nowhere.”   
“I know.” he whispered, scared that if he spoke louder it would all break.

-   
**Harry** : _Things are starting to sink in, that I've moved on so fast, and I've moved back into something that used to hurt us so much before, and I've just automatically started liking Louis again._

-   
“In the past, we used to argue all the time about me pulling birds and blah, blah But when we had good times, we had good times.” Louis started, letting his hand in Harry's hair move to the curve of his hip.

“So, if we cut the pulling birds out, then it means we just have good times all the times. Then everyone's happy.”   
“Is that right? That true?” he asked turning his head to Harry.

-

**Harry** : _Louis is saying that if he doesn't pull we won't argue. Of course, we won't.That's the only time we used to argue anyways, because you used to upset us 'cause you were pulling!_

-

 

“All right?” he asked again, moving his head closer to Harry's, capturing his lips with his own. They continued like that for a while, their lips lightly touching. Louis traced harry's bottom lip with his tongue, his signal to let Harry know he wanted him to open his mouth. Instead, Harry whined and pulled away slightly.

“No tongues.”   
“Why no tongues?”

“Because I'm not ready to move that fast.” he joked kissing the tip of his nose, watching how Louis subconsciously scrunched up his nose. The little things he had learnt about Louis over the years always seemed to make him the happiest.   
“We had tongues last night.”   
“That was when I was drunk.”   
“Oh, yeah.” He said moving his arm up and around the other boy who just wasn't taking the hint.   
“Get in.” Louis suppressed calling him a dickhead. Soon enough they were asleep, their legs tangled together and Harry's hand resting on Louis’ heart. 

-   
**Louis** : _Me and Harry are getting on amazing, and I'm just enjoying being around him, and at the minute, I don't care about anyone else, 'cause me and him are perfect together._

\- 

_ Perfect Together. _

-   
**NEXT TIME:**

**Scott** : _A man's got unfinished business._   
**Zayn** : _Unfinished business? Are you having a fucking laugh?_

**Scott** : _Don't you fucking tell me, fucking._

**Liam** : _I've ended up kissing Scott, what the fuck is wrong with us?_

**Zayn** : _You're fucking, you're a snake and she's a snake, yous belong together. There's no coming back from this._   
**Harry** : _This is the moment that me and Louis are gonna have sex, for the first time in nearly two years. My arse is so worried._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! I hope you enjoyed, be sure to leave comments or let me know if you want me to do another episode. Have a great day lads! x

**Author's Note:**

> This is part 1 as the dialogue is only 6 minutes of a 50 minute episode, let me know if you want more!


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